Learning to Forgive

There was a young man who was repeatedly awakened at night by a recurring dream.  In the dream, he found himself swimming in a vast lake, moving skillfully like a professional athlete.

But the lake was too wide, and his body gradually became exhausted.  When he felt he could no longer continue, he saw his father rowing a boat toward him.  His father extended a hand and said, "Grab my hand, and I’ll help you!” However, the man recalled the times his father scolded and even punished him during his childhood.  With a dry smile, he refused, saying, "Thank you, Dad, but let me handle it myself!"

He continued to swim, despite his growing fatigue.  Not long after, his younger sister rowed a boat toward him.  She threw a life buoy to him and said, "Take the buoy, brother!” But he remembered the many times she had been stubborn and argumentative. Once again, he refused: "No need, I’ll manage!"

After tremendous effort, he finally reached the shore.  Collapsing on the wet sand, his body was drained, and his mind was foggy.  A crowd of familiar faces—family, relatives, and friends—gathered around him.  Each person wanted to help: one suggested taking him to the hospital, another wanted to light a fire to warm him, and someone else offered dry clothes and a towel.  Yet, every time someone tried to assist, he remembered moments when they had wronged him, even in small ways.  And he replied, "No, thank you, I’ll handle it myself!"

He stood up, soaking wet, covered in sand, and utterly exhausted. Leaving the crowd behind, he walked away.

The dream repeated for several nights, prompting him to seek out his grandmother—the one person he felt had never wronged him and whom he trusted most.

"I’m not an expert in interpreting dreams," she said, "but I think you’re harboring a lot of resentment and bitterness."

"Resentment? Bitterness?  I don’t think so!  If I did, I’d feel it, wouldn’t I?" he exclaimed.

His grandmother calmly replied:
"The lake in your dream represents what you’re struggling with in your mind.  You need help, but you don’t trust anyone.  You managed to reach the shore this time, but what about the next time?  Forgiveness isn’t for others; it’s for yourself.  If you don’t forgive, aren’t you building up more and more resentment and anger inside you?"

She paused and then gently added:
"As they say: No one is perfect, so everyone makes mistakes.  If you forgive the mistakes of others, you, too, will be forgiven for your own."

---

Reflections

The story teaches us many meaningful lessons about life and how to interact with others.  Here are some key takeaways:

1.    Forgiveness is a gift to yourself:
Forgiving others not only frees them from their mistakes but, more importantly, it releases you from resentment and bitterness.  Holding onto grudges only weighs your spirit down.

2.    No one is perfect:
Everyone has flaws and makes mistakes, including yourself. Learning to accept this helps you develop empathy for others and build stronger relationships.

3.    Trust and accept help:
No one can overcome all of life’s challenges alone.  Refusing help due to past grievances or misunderstandings only isolates and exhausts you further.  Opening up and trusting others brings strength and joy.

4.    Let go of the past:
The past is behind you, and clinging to it prevents you from enjoying the present.  Even small grudges can grow over time and overshadow your happiness.

5.    The power of family and community:
Despite past conflicts or misunderstandings, your family and loved ones are often the ones who stand by you in times of need.  Cherish these bonds, as they can provide comfort and support during difficult times.

The story emphasizes that to live a lighthearted and happy life, we must learn to forgive, let go, and open our hearts to the love and care of those around us.