Sesame Seed Hollow Donuts (Bánh Tiêu) – A Simple, Heartwarming Childhood Treat

There are some foods that stay with us for a lifetime—not because they are fancy or complicated, but because they carry the warmth of childhood.  For me, bánh tiêu is one of those treasures.

I still remember standing in front of the neighborhood bakery, watching the bubbling pot of oil and the thin discs of dough being gently dropped in.  With just a few graceful flicks of the baker’s chopsticks, the dough would swell into golden, hollow domes—light as air, fragrant with toasted sesame.  The aroma alone was enough to make anyone stop in their tracks.

Over the years, I’ve experimented with many methods: kneading the dough with yeast like bread, mixing high‑protein flour with boiling water, adjusting ratios again and again.   But this recipe is the one I return to. It’s simple, reliable, and wonderfully satisfying, perfect for anyone who wants to recreate that childhood magic at home.

The only “secret” lies in the frying technique—something you’ll master quickly with a bit of practice (and a few helpful videos online).

⭐ Ingredients:

1 cup self‑rising flour

2 tbsp milk powder

2 tbsp sugar

1 tbsp oil

1/2 cup warm water

1/2 tsp vanilla extract (optional)

White sesame seeds for coating

Directions:

1. Making the dough:

In a mixing bowl, whisk together the flour, milk powder, and sugar.

Add the oil, warm water, and vanilla extract.

Mix until a soft, smooth dough forms.

Let the dough rest for about 10 minutes so it relaxes and becomes easier to shape.

2. Shaping the donuts:

Divide the dough into 5 equal portions.

Roll each into a ball, then flatten into a disc about 3–4 mm thick.

Coat both sides with sesame seeds, pressing gently so they stick well.

3. Frying to perfection:

Heat about 2 cups of vegetable oil over medium heat.

Fry one disc at a time, gently flipping until the donut puffs beautifully and turns golden, about 2–3 minutes per side.

Drain on paper towels.

A well‑fried bánh tiêu will be light, hollow, and slightly crisp on the outside.

⭐ Tips for Perfect Bánh Tiêu:

Oil temperature matters:  

Too hot → the outside browns too fast.

Too cool → the dough absorbs oil and won’t puff.

Flatten the dough thinly to help it form the signature hollow center.

Press sesame seeds firmly so they stay on during frying.

Best enjoyed warm, with tea, coffee, or simply on its own.

🌿 A Simple Joy Worth Returning To:

Bánh tiêu is more than a snack—it’s a small reminder of how simple things can bring so much comfort.  With just a handful of ingredients and a few minutes at the stove, you can bring back the warmth of childhood mornings and the scent of sesame drifting through the air. 

    

Living in This World — Don’t Be Too Good

For a long time, I believed that as long as I lived kindly and sincerely, others would treat me the same way. Since childhood, my parents and teachers taught me to love others, to help, and to live decently.  I believed that completely.  But one day, by chance, I heard the Dalai Lama speak about compassion. He said:

“Don’t be too good to everyone.  Not everyone deserves what you give, and sometimes they will mistake your kindness for foolishness.”

That statement opened a new door for me. I have always preferred giving over receiving.  But as I’ve grown older, I’ve realized something: there are times when I give wholeheartedly, yet in return I receive only disregard—no gratitude, no appreciation.  People begin to see my kindness as an obligation rather than a gift—and I end up being taken advantage of.

I’ve always been someone who likes to give.  If anyone asks for help, I help—sometimes even before they have the chance to ask.  But the older I get, the more I notice a sad truth: the people I help the most are often the ones who take it for granted.  I began to understand that excessive kindness is not a virtue—it can be a trap.

So I started learning to say “no.”  It wasn’t easy at first, because being easygoing had always been part of my nature.  In the beginning, I felt awkward and guilty.  But then I realized:

Saying no doesn’t make me a bad person—it simply helps me live within my limits.  I started declining things I didn’t want to do, and surprisingly, people around me seemed to stop bothering me as much—and I felt much lighter.

Then I came to understand something else.

There’s an old saying: “Birds of a feather flock together.”

The older I get, the more I see how true this is.  I have fewer friends now, but those who remain are the ones who truly understand me, my nature, my personality, and even the limits I don’t express.

And I realized that no matter how close we are, each person has their own responsibilities.  I cannot take on everything for others and exhaust myself.  That’s not kindness – it’s self-inflicted suffering.

I do not deny that being a good person is right.  Since childhood, we are taught to love and help others.  That is not wrong.  But the truth is… not everyone deserves your kindness.

In life, don’t try to play the role of the “self-sacrificing good person” just to please others.  This life—both literally and figuratively—is yours.  Live true to your original pure nature, what Buddhism calls your Buddha-nature.

When you live in alignment with your true mind, you won’t have to utter the words “regret.”

Here are a few lessons I’ve learned that kind-hearted people should remember:

1. Be kind to the right people, in the right way.
If you are too easygoing, others may see you as someone who is easy to use—and you will be the one who loses.

2. Being too gentle can invite disrespect.
Kindness doesn’t mean allowing others to mistreat you.  Even a small resentment born from unfair treatment can plant negative seeds in your mind.

3. Learn to say “no.”
If you’re not used to it, start now.  You’ll be surprised at how much lighter you feel.  Saying no isn’t heartless-it’s self-protection.

4. You cannot please everyone.
There’s an old saying: “A good horse is ridden; a good person is taken for granted.”  Help once, and people are grateful.  Help endlessly, and they see it as your duty.

5. Don’t overextend yourself.
Think carefully before agreeing to help.  Don’t take on too much and end up harming yourself.

6. Don’t fear saying no just to avoid upsetting others.
Psychology shows that people who can’t say no often crave approval.  But the more you please others, the more you lose yourself.

7. Every relationship has limits.
No matter how close you are, everyone has their own responsibilities.  Taking on more than your share doesn’t make you kind—it creates opportunities for others to take advantage of you.

8. If something goes against your principles—decline immediately.
People will come to understand that you are kind, but not someone to be disrespected.

Now, I still choose to live kindly—but with discernment.  I care about others, but I also care about myself.  I give, but I don’t let anyone treat it as an obligation.  Kindness is a precious gift—but every gift should be given to the right person.

Society always needs your kindness—it contributes to charity, compassion, and meaningful acts.  Living well is admirable, however living well while maintaining boundaries-that is true peace.

Kindness is not self-sacrifice.  Compassion is not letting others step over you.  And love does not mean endurance of mistreatment.

When you know how to set boundaries, say no, and choose the right people to give to-that is not selfishness.  That is maturity. nd it is the most beautiful way to protect your heart, so your kindness remains intact, not worn down by life.

 

Stir-Fried Eggplant with Oyster Mushrooms

Eggplant is a favorite ingredient in many vegetarian dishes, from salads and braises to simple stir-fries with mushrooms.  The secret to a flavorful eggplant stir-fry lies in a well-balanced sauce and proper cooking time—long enough for the eggplant to become tender and silky, yet not mushy.

Some larger globe eggplants can have a slight bitterness, which is why salting is often recommended to draw out excess moisture and reduce any astringency.  For this recipe, however, Japanese eggplants are ideal because they are naturally sweeter, more tender, and less bitter.

This dish is savory, lightly spicy, and wonderful served over hot steamed rice.

Ingredients:

2 Japanese eggplants

1 (16-ounce) can oyster mushrooms, drained (or fresh oyster mushrooms if available)

½ onion, chopped

2 garlic cloves, minced

A little chopped cilantro for garnish

1 tablespoon oil for stir-frying

Stir-Fry Sauce ingredients:

2 tablespoons soy sauce

1 teaspoon oyster sauce (use vegetarian oyster sauce if desired)

1 teaspoon sugar

1 tablespoon mushroom seasoning powder

1 teaspoon sriracha sauce

1 teaspoon ketchup

½ cup water

Directions:

Preparing the eggplant:

Trim off the ends of the eggplants.  Soak them in lightly salted water for 15–20 minutes, then rinse well and drain.  Cut into bite-sized diagonal slices or small chunks.

Making the sauce

In a small bowl, mix together soy sauce, oyster sauce, sugar, mushroom seasoning, sriracha, ketchup, and water.  Set aside.

Stir-frying the aromatics:

Heat a nonstick skillet or wok over medium heat and add the oil.  Sauté the onion and garlic until fragrant.

Cooking the vegetables:

Add the oyster mushrooms and eggplant.  Stir-fry for 4–5 minutes, allowing the eggplant to soften and lightly brown.

Adding the sauce:

Pour in the prepared sauce and toss well to coat everything evenly.  Cook another 4–5 minutes, until the eggplant is tender and the sauce has reduced slightly. Taste and adjust seasoning if needed.

Serving:

Turn off the heat, sprinkle with chopped cilantro, and serve immediately with steamed white rice.

 

The eggplant turns rich and silky, the oyster mushrooms add a meaty texture, and the savory-spicy sauce ties everything together beautifully. A simple dish, but deeply satisfying.

Learning Not to Become Too Attached to Anyone

After a few years on the spiritual path, I began to feel as though I was gradually moving away from people—or perhaps people were drifting away from me.  I often reflected on this until one day, after listening to a teaching by the 14th Dalai Lama, something suddenly became clear.  I understood. And today, if you, too, have been searching for the truth of awakening as I have, then perhaps you may feel fortunate to encounter these reflections, adapted from his guidance.

We, ordinary human beings, are often driven to seek a strong bond with someone, and we spend much of our lives trying to build that connection.  We hope intimacy will bring us safety and comfort and fill the empty spaces within.  Yet the truth is, the more tightly we cling to that closeness, the more vulnerable we become to the changing tides of human emotion and circumstance.

He invites us toward a different way of living—not a cold or distant life, but one of complete inner sovereignty.  It is the art of learning not to become overly attached to anyone.  This is not a call to withdraw from society but a journey toward freedom amid relationships.  When we stop placing the burden of our happiness on others' shoulders, we discover a source of inner strength we may never have known.

Why is maintaining a wise inner distance so important?  Because in the stillness of that space, we begin to see the true nature of things.  Many people mistake intimacy for love when it is sometimes only a projection of the fear of loneliness.  In truth, undeveloped when we can stand alone and still feel whole, only then are we capable of loving others in the purest way—without possessiveness or demand.

Learning not to become too attached to anyone means reestablishing inner boundaries so that no emotional storm arising in another person can shake your peace.  When we expect less absolute understanding from others, disappointment fades.  A life without false external supports can become the most stable life of all.

There is a paradox: those who can live well in solitude are often the very people who bring the greatest warmth to the world.  They give without needing anything in return.  They are present without needing to possess.  This path requires great courage, because it asks us to face our own shadow.  But once we begin to master this art of living, we realize the world is no longer a place filled with threats and fears of little abandonment but a vast field for awakening.

We can begin by noticing our daily psychological habits—the moments we seek comfort, validation, or praise.  These are often the subtle openings through which attachment enters.  Much of the suffering in relationships comes from over-identifying the self with something outside us.  The moment we think, "This person belongs to me," or "I cannot live without that person," we begin building a prison for ourselves.

The human mind naturally seeks stability in an impermanent world.   We want those close to us to always remain, always behave as we expect, and always understand our deepest feelings.  But reality moves according to its own laws.  Each person is a current shaped by their own karma, thoughts, and emotions.  How can we demand that a river stop flowing simply to satisfy our wishes?

When we choose not to become overly attached, we honor both our freedom and others' freedom.  This is a kind of noble solitude.  In this state, we can still communicate, still help others, still smile warmly at people—yet the heart is no longer bound to any particular individual.   It is a subtle protection that keeps the mind from unnecessary disturbance.

When we look deeply into the nature of closeness, we often see that it is built on delicate exchanges: we offer pleasant feelings and hope to receive them in return.  We open our hearts, share secrets, and hope to be trusted. But anything built upon exchange is fragile. The moment the balance shifts, cracks begin to appear.

A person who lives without clinging to such intimacy is not cold-hearted.  Rather, they have laid down that invisible contract.  They live from inner worth, not from the responses of others.  And when one no longer waits for approval or measures oneself against others, a quiet rhythm of peace naturally emerges, and each step in life becomes lighter.

Idle conversations and petty conflicts lose their power to occupy the mind.  There is more space to turn inward—to cultivate gratitude, humility, and patience and, above all, to look deeply into the true nature of the self.

This may be the quietest yet most enduring investment one can make in life. For when you understand yourself, you are no longer swept away by the demands of the world.  Life becomes simpler, and above all, your inner life becomes peaceful, free, and profoundly at ease.

Roast Duck

You’ll often see beautifully lacquered roast ducks hanging in the windows of Asian markets, their deep mahogany skin almost impossible to resist.  Re-creating the exact flavor and color of professional Chinese roast duck at home takes specialized equipment and skill, but with a prepared Peking duck marinade and a little patience, you can achieve a delicious homemade version with much of the same appeal.

This roast duck makes a wonderful alternative to turkey for Thanksgiving or any special meal.  It’s also easy to adapt for smaller family meals—simply divide the duck into portions before roasting if desired. Refrigerate each portion until needed.

Ingredients:

• 1 whole duck
• 1 packet Peking duck marinade mix
• 2 tablespoons soy sauce
• 1 tablespoon oyster sauce
• 2 tablespoons cooking wine
• 2 tablespoons honey
• 4 tablespoons hoisin sauce
• 1 teaspoon salt

For stuffing ingredients:

• 1 bunch green onions
• 1 ounce fresh ginger, sliced

For blanching ingredients:

• Water
• Maltose red wine vinegar (or red wine vinegar mixed with a little maltose, if available)

Directions:

1. Preparing the duck:
Wash the duck thoroughly and soak it briefly in salted water with a little vinegar.  Rinse well and pat dry, inside and out.

In a bowl, mix the Peking duck marinade powder with soy sauce, oyster sauce, cooking wine, honey, hoisin sauce, and salt.  Rub some of the marinade over the duck and pour the rest into the cavity.  Stuff with green onions and sliced ginger.  Use metal skewers or kitchen twine to close the cavity so the marinade stays inside.

2. Crisping the skin:
Bring a pot of water to a boil and add a little maltose red wine vinegar.  Ladle or pour the hot liquid over the duck several times to tighten and crisp the skin.

Place the duck on a rack over a baking tray and refrigerate uncovered for 1 to 2 days to air-dry the skin. This step helps develop the rich color and crisp texture.

3. Roasting the duck:
Preheat the oven to 425°F (220°C). (Note: the original temperatures appear to have been listed in Celsius, but these are standard roasting temperatures in Fahrenheit.)

Place the duck breast-side down and roast for 15 minutes.  Turn the duck and continue roasting, flipping every 15 minutes for even browning.

Reduce the oven temperature to 350°F (175°C) and continue roasting for about 1 hour, or until the duck is cooked through and the skin is crisp and richly browned.

4. Resting and serving:
Let the duck rest for 30 minutes before carving.  Spoon out the flavorful juices collected inside the cavity and serve them as a dipping sauce.

Serving Note:

This is not the traditional method for Chinese roast duck, but it produces a flavorful, satisfying homemade version that’s well worth making.  Serve with steamed rice, bao, or pancakes for a festive meal.

Sausage Stir-Fry

This quick and flavorful stir-fry is perfect for busy days. Using pre-cooked chicken sausage—such as the pineapple-flavored variety from Costco—adds a subtle sweetness that pairs nicely with the savory Asian-style sauce.  Serve it over hot steamed rice for a simple, satisfying meal.

Ingredients:

• 3 chicken sausages, sliced into 1-inch rounds
• 2 tablespoons oil
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 1/2 cup white onion, sliced
• 1 cup frozen stir-fry vegetable mix

Stir-Fry Sauce ingredients:

• 1/4 cup water
• 1 teaspoon vinegar
• 2 tablespoons soy sauce
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• A pinch of black pepper
• 1 teaspoon sugar
• 1 tablespoon ketchup
• 1 teaspoon cornstarch

Directions:

1. Heat oil in a medium skillet over medium heat. Add the sliced sausage and cook, stirring occasionally, until lightly browned.  Add the minced garlic and sauté briefly until fragrant.

2. Add the sliced onion and frozen vegetables.  Stir-fry for 5–7 minutes, or until the vegetables are heated through and slightly tender.

3. In a small bowl, whisk together all the sauce ingredients until smooth.  Pour the sauce into the skillet and stir well to coat.

4. Continue cooking for another 1–2 minutes, or until the sauce thickens.  Taste and adjust seasoning if needed.

Serve hot over steamed rice.

Cilantro Pesto

• Pesto is one of the easiest ways to elevate everyday cooking.  A spoonful can brighten meatballs, add depth to grilled fish, or become a quick marinade for chicken or vegetables.  While store‑bought pesto is convenient, it can be pricey — and making your own at home is both economical and customizable.  With just a handful of simple ingredients, you can create a vibrant cilantro pesto that fits your family’s taste and budget.  Inserted through new it is Cooking isn’t difficult; it simply takes a little curiosity and the willingness to try recipes that bring joy to your table.

  Ingredients:

  2 bunches

  Fresh cilantro (Aldi is a great option)

  1/4 cup lemon juice

  1/2 cup roasted walnuts

  4 cloves of garlic.

  1 tsp salt

  1/4 tsp black pepper

  1 cup quality olive oil

  1/3 cup

  Grated Parmesan cheese

  Directions:

  Wash the cilantro thoroughly and pat dry to remove excess moisture.

  Place all ingredients into a blender or food processor.

  Blend until smooth and well combined, scraping down the sides as needed.

  Transfer the pesto to a glass jar with a tight‑fitting lid.

  Refrigerate and use within several days for best flavor.

   

  Quick Tips for Serving Pesto:

  • Toss with warm pasta for an instant sauce.  Add a splash of pasta water for creaminess.
  • Use as a marinade for chicken, fish, or shrimp (15–30 minutes is enough).
  • Stir into salads by mixing pesto with lemon juice or olive oil.
  • Spread on toasted bread or sandwiches for extra flavor.
  • Mix into warm rice or quinoa to create a fragrant herb side dish.
  • Add a spoonful to soups like chicken soup or vegetable soup for depth.
  • Coat roasted vegetables right after they come out of the oven.
  • Drizzle over tacos or burrito bowls, especially fish or shrimp tacos.
  • Stir into scrambled eggs or omelets for a bright, herbal note.
  • Turn into a dip by mixing with yogurt or mayonnaise.

  Stir into scrambled eggs or omelets for a bright, herbal note.