SHOULD WOMEN OVER 50 GET MARRIED?

SHOULD WOMEN OVER 50 GET MARRIED?

One question many women over 50 quietly ask themselves is: After a marriage has ended, should I open my heart and start a new relationship?

The answer is not simply “yes” or “no.”

By the time we reach our 50s, we no longer approach love with the same expectations we had when we were young.  We have lived through joy and disappointment. Some of us have been married, raised children, built a family, and perhaps experienced the pain of divorce or separation.

After 20 or 30 years of marriage, when a relationship comes to an end, there is usually a long and complicated story behind it – one that outsiders can never fully understand.  Instead of judging a woman for divorcing at 50, 60, or even later, perhaps we should learn to look at her circumstances with greater compassion.

From a Buddhist perspective, everything in life is subject to change.  Things come together, remain for a time, and eventually separate.  Relationships are no different.  Sometimes two people come together because their paths are meant to meet for a certain period of life.  They may share many years, experiences, and memories, and yet eventually their paths may lead in different directions.

That does not necessarily mean the marriage was a failure.

Two people may once have loved each other deeply and brought happiness into each other's lives yet still reach a point where they must part.  What matters is not always holding on to a relationship that is no longer healthy simply because we are afraid of change.  Sometimes we need to accept reality, let go of what has come to an end, and move forward without carrying unnecessary resentment.

What Are We Really Looking for in Love After 50?

When we are young, we often enter relationships with many expectations.  We want love, marriage, children, a home, and someone with whom we can build a future.

But after 50, our needs may change.

We may no longer need someone to prove that we are lovable.  We may no longer believe that another person is necessary to complete our lives.

What we want may actually be much simpler: a companion, someone to talk to, someone with whom we can share life's joys and difficulties, travel, enjoy a meal, care for each other when we are sick, and most importantly, respect each other's independence and freedom.

This is one reason why some people over 50 choose to remarry, while others prefer to live together without getting legally married. Some may choose a committed relationship while maintaining separate homes and finances.

There is no single choice that is right for everyone.

What matters is whether the choice fits your circumstances, your needs, and your values.

Don't Enter a Relationship Simply Because You Are Afraid of Being Alone

One of the most powerful reasons people make poor decisions in relationships is fear of loneliness.

When someone has lived alone for a long time, even a little attention can feel deeply comforting. A phone call, a thoughtful message, or having someone to share dinner with can make us feel that we have finally found the companionship we have been missing.

But feeling needed is not always the same as being loved.

Buddhist teachings encourage us to look deeply into our own minds and recognize what is truly motivating us.

If I want to marry because I genuinely love this person, understand who they are, and believe that we can create a peaceful life together, that is one thing.

But if I want to marry because I am afraid of growing old alone, afraid that no one will be there for me, or afraid that other people will see me as unsuccessful, then perhaps I should pause and ask myself:

“Am I choosing love, or am I running away from my own fear?”

That is an important question.

Pay Attention to How Your Partner Treats You

A man may be extremely loving and attentive while dating.  But if you are considering building a life together, you need to observe how he behaves in the ordinary moments of everyday life.

Ask yourself:

Does he listen to your feelings?

Or do most conversations revolve around his needs and problems?

Does he share household responsibilities?

Or does he automatically assume that cooking, cleaning, laundry, and household management are a woman's responsibilities?

When you are tired or sick, does he care for you?

Or does he simply expect you to take care of him whenever he is unwell?

Does he respect your independence?

Or does he want to control your money, your time, your friendships, or your personal life?

Does he see you as a life partner, or primarily as someone who makes his life more convenient?

These questions are not meant to make women suspicious of all men.  They are simply reminders to look at a relationship with awareness rather than emotion alone.

Love can sometimes make us see what we want to see.  But living together eventually reveals who people really are.

Marriage Should Not Become a Transaction

Some men enter relationships later in life because they want companionship and someone who can be there for them as they grow older.

There is nothing inherently wrong with that.

Women also have their own needs. Some may want a partner who can provide financial stability, companionship, emotional security, or support as they age.

Human beings naturally seek connection and support from one another.

The real question is:

Is the relationship mutually supportive and respectful?

If one person contributes financial resources while the other contributes time, emotional support, household work, and caregiving, both people should understand what they are giving and receiving.

A healthy relationship should not become a transaction that says:

“You provide the money, and I serve you.”

Or:

“I take care of you, so you owe me.”

When love becomes an exchange of services, both people can eventually feel used or unappreciated.

A healthier relationship sounds more like this:

I care for you, and you care for me.
I respect your independence, and you respect mine.
You are responsible for your life, and I am responsible for mine.
And together, we choose to share the years ahead.

That is companionship.

Financial Independence Gives Women More Freedom to Choose

If a woman over 50 is financially independent and capable of supporting herself, that is something to value.

Financial independence gives us greater freedom to choose a relationship because we want itnot because we desperately need someone to support us.

But being financially independent does not mean we have to live alone.

If we meet someone who is genuinely compatible with us, we can still fall in love, remarry, or build a life together.

The important thing is not to surrender control of our lives simply because someone has more money or because we are afraid of losing them.

At this stage of life, we should understand something very clearly:

Having someone beside you can bring great joy, but not having someone beside you does not make your life meaningless.

In Buddhism, Love Without Clinging

One of the most difficult lessons in love is learning to love someone without making that person responsible for our happiness.

Buddhist teachings speak deeply about attachment and clinging.

When we love someone and begin to think:

“You must make me happy.”

“You must always be there for me.”

“You must live according to what I want.”

love can gradually turn into attachment and control.

Human beings are constantly changing.  Our youth changes.  Our health changes.  Our circumstances change.  Even our feelings can change.

Understanding impermanence does not mean that we should stop loving.

In fact, understanding impermanence may teach us to appreciate the person who is with us even more deeply, while also preparing our hearts to accept that circumstances may one day change.

This is a more mindful way of loving.

So, should a Woman Over 50 Get Married?

I don't think anyone else can answer that question for you.

You can marry.

You can live together.

You can also choose to live alone.

None of these choices makes you more or less worthy.

If you meet someone who genuinely loves and respects you, knows how to share responsibilities, and wants to build a peaceful life with you, then 50 or 60 is certainly not too late to begin a beautiful relationship.

But if someone is looking primarily for a person to serve them, manage their household, care for them, or relieve their loneliness without being willing to care about your needs and happiness, you have every right to say no.

Don't marry simply because you are afraid of growing old.

Don't move in with someone simply because you are afraid of being alone.

And don't reject love simply because a previous marriage hurt you.

Give yourself time to observe, learn, and listen to your own heart.

After 50, perhaps the most important question is no longer:

“Do I have someone beside me?”

Instead, ask:

“Does having this person beside me make my life more peaceful?”

If the answer is yes, cherish the relationship.

If the answer is no, have the courage to walk away.

Because ultimately, a relationship isn't simply about a title or legal status.  It is to allow two people to live with kindness, love one another, and make the remaining years of their lives more peaceful and meaningful.

And if one day we find ourselves living alone, we should not see that as a failure.

To know how to live alone without feeling lonely, to love another person without losing ourselves, to enter a relationship with compassion, and to leave when necessary, with peace in our hearts – this too can be a form of spiritual practice in everyday life.

At any age, perhaps the most valuable lessons are these:

When you have love, appreciate it.
When you have a companion, learn to share.
When a relationship ends, learn to let go.
And whether you live with someone or alone, keep loving yourself and living a meaningful life.

Homemade Tahini Sauce

Homemade Tahini Sauce  

Tahini is a rich, creamy sesame paste made from toasted sesame seeds.  It has a wonderfully nutty flavor and is surprisingly easy to make at home. Homemade tahini is fresh, smooth, and often tastes much better than store-bought versions.

Tahini is an essential ingredient in many Middle Eastern dishes, especially hummus, where it adds a creamy texture and distinctive sesame flavor.  Sesame-based sauces and pastes are also widely used in Asian cooking.  You can toast the sesame seeds yourself, but to save time, look for ready-toasted sesame seeds at a Korean or Asian supermarket.

Ingredients:

• 1 cup roasted sesame seeds
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 1/4 teaspoon salt, or to taste

Directions:

1.                        Place the roasted sesame seeds in a small food processor.  Process for about 2 minutes, or until the seeds become a crumbly, thick paste.

2.                        Add the olive oil and continue processing. Stop occasionally to scrape down the sides and bottom of the processor so everything blends evenly.

3.                        Continue processing until the tahini becomes smooth, creamy, and easy to pour. If it seems too thick, add a little more olive oil, one teaspoon at a time, until you reach your desired consistency.

4.                        Taste and adjust the salt as needed.

5.                        Transfer the tahini to a clean glass jar with a lid.  Refrigerate until ready to use.

Tip: Homemade tahini can be used to make hummus, salad dressings, dipping sauces, or drizzled over roasted vegetables, grilled meats, and grain bowls.

 

Are Compassion and Empathy the Same?

Are Compassion and Empathy the Same?

From an early age, our parents, teachers, and elders often teach us about kindness, empathy, and the importance of sharing the burdens of those who are struggling.  These values gradually help shape who we become.

In everyday life, people sometimes use empathy and compassion as if they mean the same thing.  However, when we look more deeply, they are not quite the same. Both begin with the ability to recognize and understand another person's pain and emotions, but how we respond to that suffering can differ greatly.

Empathy is the ability to put ourselves in another person's situation and try to understand what they may be feeling.  When we empathize, we do not merely recognize another person's pain intellectually; we try to feel and understand it with our hearts as well.

For example, when someone loses a loved one, we may imagine the emptiness and grief they are experiencing.  We understand that if we were in their situation, we might feel the same deep pain.

But empathy does not necessarily lead to action.

We may understand someone's suffering and feel sad with them, yet still not know what to do – or may not have the ability – to help.

Compassion goes one step further.  It arises when we recognize another person's suffering, understand something of what they are going through, and from that understanding develop a genuine wish to do something to ease their pain.

Put simply:

Empathy means understanding and feeling another person's pain.

Compassion means understanding and feeling that pain, while also wishing to do something to relieve it.

In Buddhist teachings, the concept closest to compassion is karuṇā, or compassion arising from an understanding of suffering.

Compassion Is More Than Pity

Compassion does not simply mean feeling sorry for someone who is suffering.  Pity can sometimes create a sense of separation:

“I am more fortunate than you, and you are the unfortunate one.”

Compassion, however, looks more deeply into the nature of suffering.

The Buddha taught us that suffering is part of life.  No one can completely escape birth, aging, illness, death, separation, loss, disappointment, and the many things that do not go according to our wishes.

Someone else may be suffering today, but tomorrow we ourselves may find ourselves in a similar situation.

When we truly understand this, we no longer look at a suffering person from the position of an outsider who judges them.  Instead, we see them with the understanding that they and we are human beings living in the same impermanent world, subject to the same laws of life.

This understanding is the foundation of compassion.

Compassion does not mean that we must carry all of another person's suffering on our shoulders.  Nor does it mean that we must solve every problem for them.

Compassion means seeing suffering, understanding something of its causes, and, when possible, doing something to help lessen that suffering.

A timely word, a sincere willingness to listen, a hand extended to someone who is desperate, or simply sitting beside someone who is crying without judging them – all of these can be expressions of compassion.

How Can Empathy Become Compassion?

Empathy is a beautiful quality, but without mindfulness and awareness, deep empathy can sometimes cause us to become overwhelmed by another person's emotions.

When we see someone suffering, we suffer with them.

When they become hopeless, we may also become hopeless.

When they become angry, we may be swept into their anger.

At that point, our empathy may not actually help the person who is suffering, because both of us have become trapped in the same emotional storm.

Buddhism offers us another way of looking at suffering:

See suffering, but do not allow yourself to become drowned in it.

To do this, we first need mindfulness.

1. Become Aware of Yourself

When we encounter another person's suffering, we should first notice what is happening within our own mind.

Are we sad?

Are we feeling sorrow for them?

Are we afraid?

Are we angry?

Or are we trying to immediately solve their problem for them?

Mindfulness allows us to recognize these emotions without immediately being controlled by them.

When our mind is calm and clear, we can help others with wisdom rather than simply reacting emotionally.

2. See Things As They Are

Compassion needs to be accompanied by non-judgment.

When someone is suffering, it is very easy for us to say:

“Why did they do that?”

“If they had listened to me, this would never have happened.”

“They brought this problem upon themselves.”

Words of judgment rarely make suffering disappear.

Instead of looking for someone to blame, try to look at the person's circumstances with a more open mind.

Every person has their own causes, conditions, experiences, and limitations – many of which we may never fully see or understand.

Not judging does not mean believing that every action is right.  It means having the ability to see a person and their actions within the larger context of their life, with awareness and understanding.

3. Find an Appropriate Way to Help

Once we recognize another person's suffering, we can ask ourselves:

“What can I do to help this person suffer a little less?”

Sometimes help means offering material support.

Sometimes it means giving thoughtful advice.

Sometimes it simply means being present.

And sometimes, the best thing we can do is quietly listen.

We cannot always save someone from their circumstances.  But we can help them feel that they are not completely alone during difficult times.

A small act, when it comes from a sincere heart, can become a seed of compassion.

4. Cultivate Compassion Every Day

Compassion is not something that appears only in special moments.  It is something we cultivate through daily practice.

We can begin by learning to listen more, judge less, put ourselves in other people's situations, and regularly contemplate the impermanent nature of life.

Compassion meditation is another practice that can help us open our hearts.

We can regularly cultivate sincere wishes such as:

“May I be at peace.”

“May the people I love be at peace.”

“May those who are suffering find relief from their pain.”

“May all beings live in peace and well-being.”

As we practice these thoughts with sincerity, our hearts gradually become softer, more understanding, and more open.

Compassion Does Not Mean Carrying Other People's Pain

One important thing to understand is that compassion does not mean sacrificing ourselves to solve every problem in another person's life.

Without sufficient awareness and wisdom, our desire to help others can sometimes turn into excessive interference.  We may exhaust ourselves or, unintentionally, prevent others from developing the strength to stand on their own.

True compassion always goes hand in hand with wisdom.

Sometimes helping is the right thing to do.

Sometimes we need to step back and allow another person to learn their own lessons.

Sometimes giving is appropriate, while at other times, knowing how to say “no” may actually be the most compassionate thing we can do.

Therefore, compassion is not simply having a heart that cares.  It is also having a mind that knows how to care wisely.

From Empathy to Compassion

If we look at these qualities as a gradual process, we might understand them this way:

Sympathy is recognizing another person's suffering.

Empathy is moving closer to understanding and to feeling something of that suffering.

Compassion is allowing that understanding and feeling to give rise to a sincere wish to do something to ease the suffering – through an appropriate and wise action.

But in Buddhism, compassion goes even deeper.

It is not limited to the people we love or those who are close to us.  As our understanding grows, compassion can gradually extend to strangers, and even to those who have hurt us.

When we look deeply into dependent origination, we begin to understand that no one exists completely independently.  A person's suffering may arise from ignorance, wounds from the past, difficult life circumstances, and countless conditions that they themselves may not fully control.

Understanding this does not mean tolerating wrongdoing or excusing harmful behavior.

Rather, understanding helps us respond without creating more hatred.

We can recognize that an action is harmful while still refusing to respond with hatred toward the person who committed it.

The Heart of Compassion

Perhaps the most beautiful gift of compassion is not how many people we can save.

It is that compassion teaches us to see other human beings with less judgment and a more open heart.

Empathy helps us enter into another person's suffering.

Wisdom keeps us from becoming lost in that suffering.

And compassion shows us what we can do to help lessen it.

This is the journey from:

“I understand your suffering”

to:

“I want to walk with you through your suffering – with a peaceful heart, a clear mind, and compassion guided by wisdom.”

Why Do Intelligent People Choose to Live Alone?

Why Do Intelligent People Choose to Live Alone?

Have you ever wondered why some people, as they grow older, seem to prefer living alone?

They may not enjoy large gatherings.  They may not feel the need to have many friends, and they may not feel uncomfortable spending an entire day by themselves. They can sit alone for hours reading, thinking, creating, working, or simply enjoying the quietness of their own company.

Are they lonely?  Or is there a rich inner world behind their silence that others simply cannot see?

Some psychological research suggests that people with strong cognitive abilities, independent thinking, and a more inward-oriented personality may not seek constant social interaction.  They may prefer spending time with their own thoughts, pursuing creative interests, or developing a few meaningful relationships rather than maintaining a large social circle.

But this does not mean that everyone who enjoys being alone is intelligent, nor that all intelligent people prefer solitude.  People have different social and emotional needs.  What matters is not how many friends someone has, but rather this question:

Do they truly need other people’s approval and company in order to feel that they have value?

Some people simply do not enjoy maintaining a wide circle of acquaintances because they find it difficult to connect deeply with others who share their way of thinking, their values, or their understanding of life. They do not want to spend too much time on superficial relationships.  Instead, they may choose a few genuine connections – or sometimes, they may choose the quietness of their own company.

But from a Buddhist perspective, “knowing how to live alone” has a much deeper meaning.

In Buddhist teachings, the art of living alone is not about escaping from life.  Nor does it come from believing that one is superior or more intelligent than others.  To truly know how to live alone means learning not to become dependent on other people or on external circumstances for our inner peace.

A person can live with a family and still know how to live alone.

They can work in a crowded office and still know how to live alone.

They can walk through a busy city, hear all kinds of praise and criticism, witness gossip and conflict, and yet remain calm and awake within.

That is the real challenge.

Because being lonely and knowing how to be alone are not the same thing.

Loneliness can come from feeling that there is no one to rely on.

But knowing how to be alone means reaching a point where we no longer need another person to fill the emptiness within us.

A person who knows how to live alone is not necessarily cold or distant.  In fact, when we are no longer constantly driven by attachment, desire, approval, and fear of loss, we may begin to see other people with greater compassion.

We still know how to feel sadness and joy.  We can still love, care, and feel another person's pain.  But we no longer allow our emotions to completely control us.

We can love someone without possessing them.

We can care for someone without demanding anything in return.

We can give without constantly expecting something in return.

We can see someone suffering without immediately judging them.

Because within us, there is enough inner space to listen and understand.

That is why, when we encounter people like this, we may sometimes think they are quiet, distant, or difficult to approach.  But their silence does not necessarily mean that they lack warmth.  It may simply be the sign of someone who has learned to live more deeply within themselves.

Buddhism continually reminds us to observe life deeply in each present moment.  To truly see our own minds, we sometimes need silence.

When the noise of the outside world becomes too loud, it is easy to confuse what we genuinely want with what other people expect us to become.

When we spend time alone, we begin to hear the quiet voices within.

We recognize what is causing our suffering.

We begin to see attachments we once didn't realize we had.

We understand that some relationships we once believed we could never live without may actually have been based on dependence.

And little by little, we learn to let go.

Letting go does not mean that we stop loving.

Letting go means learning to love without being bound by attachment.

It means living in this world without letting it constantly carry our minds away.

Therefore, a person who truly knows how to live alone does not need to retreat into a deep forest or isolate themselves completely from society.  They can live in a crowded city, surrounded by family, work, responsibilities, and the inevitable conflicts of everyday life, while still maintaining a peaceful inner space.

This is the solitude of an awakened mind – not the loneliness of someone who has been left behind.

I am not suggesting that everyone should live alone. Human beings still need family, friendship, companionship, and healthy relationships.  We were not born to separate ourselves from life.

But perhaps every one of us needs to learn how to be alone without being afraid of ourselves.

If you are someone who enjoys quietness, thinks independently, loves creativity, and needs periods of time without interruption from others, do not be too quick to think that there is something unusual about you.

Perhaps your mind simply needs some silence.

And if one day you realize that you no longer need other people's approval as much as you once did, that praise and criticism no longer disturb you so deeply, and that the gains and losses of life no longer easily throw you off balance, then perhaps you are learning an important lesson:

The art of living alone.

Because ultimately, the purpose of learning to live alone is not to turn away from other people.  It is to return to ourselves.

And along the path of spiritual practice, that inner silence becomes even more precious.  When the mind stops constantly chasing after external circumstances, we finally have the opportunity to look deeply within ourselves – to recognize the desires, attachments, and ignorance that quietly shape our lives.

At some point, we begin to understand that peace does not depend on how many people surround us.  It depends on our ability to find refuge within ourselves.

Then, whether we are alone or surrounded by thousands of people, we no longer feel truly lonely.

Because when we have discovered peace within ourselves, wherever we go, we always have a place to come home to.

One-Pot Rice: A Simple, Flexible Meal

One-Pot Rice: A Simple, Flexible Meal 

I’ve shared several simple meal ideas for those of you who live alone, and this one-pot rice dish is one of my favorites when I want something easy, filling, and adaptable.

It’s somewhat similar to Korean mixed rice, but you can change the ingredients and seasonings to suit your taste – or simply use whatever you have on hand. It’s also a great way to make a complete meal without spending much time in the kitchen.

The basic formula is simple: rice + vegetables + beans + a good protein source.  Once you have that combination, you can change the flavor and protein from day to day so the meal never feels repetitive.

Ingredients:

1½ cups basmati rice

1 cup spaghetti, broken into 3-inch pieces

3 cups of water or broth

1 cup chopped onion

3 garlic cloves, minced

1 can beans of your choice, drained and rinsed

3 chicken sausages, sliced into bite-sized pieces

¼ cup cooking oil, plus a little more for sautéing

Salt, to taste

Black pepper, to taste

½ teaspoon cumin

½ teaspoon paprika

½ teaspoon dried oregano

1–2 teaspoons soy sauce

½–1 teaspoon chicken bouillon powder, optional

Chopped cilantro or parsley, for serving

Directions:

Preparing the rice and spaghetti:

Rinse the basmati rice until the water runs mostly clear, then drain well.  Break the spaghetti into pieces about 3 inches long.

Toasting the spaghetti:

Heat about ¼ cup of oil in a large pan over medium heat.  Add the spaghetti and cook, stirring frequently, until golden brown.  Be careful – it can brown quickly.

Adding the rice:

Add the drained rice and stir-fry for 1–2 minutes, just enough to lightly toast the grains.  Transfer the rice and toasted spaghetti to a rice cooker.

Building the flavor:

Using the same pan, add a little more oil if needed. Sauté the onion until softened, then add the garlic and cook until fragrant.  Add the sliced chicken sausage and cook briefly to develop some color.

Seasoning and adding the liquid:

Add the water or broth, cumin, paprika, oregano, black pepper, soy sauce, and chicken bouillon powder if using.  Bring the mixture to a gentle boil and taste the broth.  Adjust the salt and seasonings before adding it to the rice.

Cooking everything together:

Pour the seasoned liquid and sausage mixture into the rice cooker.  Add the drained beans and stir gently to combine.  Close the lid and cook according to your rice cooker's normal setting.

Finishing and serving:

Once the rice is cooked, let it rest for 5–10 minutes before fluffing.  Taste and adjust seasoning as needed. Finish with chopped cilantro or parsley and serve warm.

Choosing a Better Protein:

The protein is the easiest part of this recipe to change, and making a thoughtful choice can turn this simple dish into a more nutritious everyday meal.

Chicken sausage is convenient, but many packaged sausages can be relatively high in sodium and saturated fat.  If you eat this dish regularly, consider rotating in less-processed protein sources.

Good options include:

Chicken or turkey: Dice boneless, skinless chicken or turkey and sauté it with the onions and garlic before adding the liquid.

Eggs: Add a couple of beaten eggs toward the end of cooking, or top each serving with a fried or soft-boiled egg.

Tofu: Firm or extra-firm tofu works particularly well. Cube it and pan-fry until golden before adding it to the rice.

Edamame: Frozen shelled edamame is especially convenient and adds both protein and fiber.

Lentils: Cooked lentils can replace some or all of the beans for an inexpensive, plant-based protein boost.

Fish or shrimp: These are good choices when you want a lighter meal.  Cook them separately and add them toward the end so they don't become overcooked.

Lean ground chicken or turkey: Brown it with the onion and garlic for a flavorful, easy-to-portion option.

 

You can also simply use fewer sausages and increase the beans, vegetables, or another whole-food protein. That keeps the dish satisfying while reducing your reliance on processed meat.

A Simple Formula for Changing It Up:

Once you know the basic recipe, you don't really need to follow it exactly.

Try thinking of it as:

Rice + toasted pasta + protein + beans + vegetables + seasonings

For example:

Chicken + chickpeas + cumin + paprika

Tofu + edamame + soy sauce + sesame

Shrimp + peas + garlic + paprika

Lentils + carrots + cumin + oregano

Egg + black beans + corn + chili powder

You can also add whatever vegetables you have available – carrots, peas, corn, bell peppers, mushrooms, spinach, or zucchini all work well.

The beauty of a one-pot meal is that the method stays the same while the ingredients can change.  That makes it especially useful when you're cooking for one: simple enough for a busy day, but flexible enough that you don't have to eat exactly the same meal every time.

Cabbage and Jicama Salad

Cabbage and Jicama Salad

This Vietnamese-inspired cabbage salad is similar to Western coleslaw, but with a lighter, fresher dressing and shredded Jicama.  It pairs especially well with grilled meats, as the crisp vegetables and bright sweet-and-sour dressing help balance richer flavors.

I’m sharing a simple and quick version of this traditional-style salad, perfect for busy days when you want something fresh and flavorful without spending too much time in the kitchen.

Ingredients:

Salad:

• 2 cups pre-cut cabbage, green or red
• 1 cup peeled and finely shredded cassava
• 1/4 cup finely shredded white onion
• 1 cup pre-cut or shredded carrots
• 1/4 cup chopped cilantro, for garnish
• Roasted sesame seeds, optional

Dressing ingredients:

• 1 tablespoon fish sauce
• 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
• 1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
• 1 teaspoon finely chopped chili, or to taste
• 2 tablespoons honey
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 1/8 teaspoon black pepper

Directions:

1. Preparing the vegetables:
Place the pre-cut cabbage, shredded carrots, cassava, and onion in a large bowl.  Toss gently to combine.

2. Making the dressing:
In a separate small bowl, whisk together the fish sauce, apple cider vinegar, lime juice, chopped chili, honey, olive oil, and black pepper.

3. Combining:
Pour the dressing over the vegetables and toss well.  Taste and adjust the seasoning according to your family's preference.  The dressing should have a pleasant sweet, sour, salty, and slightly spicy balance.

4. Letting it rest:
For the best flavor, toss the salad with the dressing about 10 minutes before serving.  This gives the vegetables enough time to absorb the flavors while remaining crisp.

5. Garnishing and Serving:
Sprinkle with chopped cilantro and roasted sesame seeds, if desired.

Serving Suggestion:

This salad is especially delicious served alongside grilled meats, roasted chicken, or other rich dishes.  Its crisp texture and light, tangy dressing make it a refreshing complement to a hearty meal.

Vegetarian Porridge

I usually make this simple vegetarian porridge when I have leftover rice or the day after fasting.  It’s a comforting, nourishing meal packed with vegetables, mushrooms, and tofu.  If you’re not vegan, you can also add an egg when the porridge is almost finished cooking.

Traditional porridge recipes often call for roasting the rice first to bring out a nutty, fragrant flavor.  For this recipe, I use leftover cooked rice instead, making it a quick and easy meal that can be prepared in about 15 minutes.

Ingredients:

1 cup leftover cooked rice

4 cups water

About 2 cups mixed vegetables, cut into small cubes

(chayote, kohlrabi, carrots, pumpkin, or other vegetables of your choice)

1 cup mushrooms, sliced

(oyster mushrooms, white mushrooms, straw mushrooms, or a combination)

½ white onion, finely chopped

1 tablespoon fresh ginger, finely chopped

3 green onions, chopped

A small handful of fresh cilantro, chopped

Salt, to taste

Soy sauce, to taste

Mushroom seasoning, to taste

Black or white pepper, to taste

1–2 teaspoons cooking oil

Optional: 1 egg, if you are not vegan

Directions:

Sautéing the aromatics:

Heat the oil in a pot over medium heat.  Add the chopped onion and ginger and sauté for 1–2 minutes, until fragrant.

Adding the rice and water:

Stir in the leftover rice and add 4 cups of water.  Bring to a boil, stirring occasionally to help the rice break down and create a creamy consistency.

Adding the vegetables and mushrooms:

Add the chopped vegetables and mushrooms.  Reduce the heat to medium and simmer for about 10-15 minutes, or until the vegetables are tender and the porridge reaches your preferred consistency.

Seasoning:

Season with salt, soy sauce, and mushroom seasoning to taste.  Stir well and adjust the seasoning as needed.

Optional egg:

If you eat eggs, crack one into the porridge when it is almost finished cooking.  Stir gently for an egg-drop style porridge or leave the egg whole and cook until set.

Add fried tofu into the porridge before it has done

Serving:

Ladle the hot porridge into bowls.  Garnish with chopped green onions and cilantro and finish with a little freshly ground pepper for extra aroma.

Tips:

Add more water if you prefer thinner porridge.

Feel free to use whatever vegetables you have on hand.  Corn, cabbage, spinach, or broccoli also work well.

For extra protein, add cubed firm tofu along with the mushrooms and vegetables.

For a richer flavor, you can use vegetable broth instead of water.