In daily life, we have hundreds
of thousands of things to fear, but in fact, we should not combine them all
into one because not all fear is bad. In general, we can somewhat classify fear
into two types: instinctive fear and psychological fear. Every day, newspapers
and media publish a lot of negative news (such as an epidemic situation) that
easily makes us anxious. That fear is instinctive. And other fears, such as
fear of failure, fear of standing in front of a crowd, fear of losing honor,
etc., are fears stemming from psychology. When starting a relationship, getting
a job, or moving to a new place, it's often natural to feel a little anxious.
Maybe you're afraid it's the wrong decision or you're afraid you'll fail in
your new unknown environment. Sometimes, this fear becomes so strong that
it paralyzes and prevents you from moving forward and consciously seeing what
will happen. Instead of avoiding it, you should "look deep" into your
own fear and learn to deal with it.
“No matter what decision
you make, there will always be someone who will say you were wrong. There is
always an obstacle that can easily lead you to believe that the criticism is
true.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
But if you are aware in every
decision or choices, you listen and follow the voice of your heart and
simply do your best, there is nothing worth calling a failure. We won't talk
about "failures" in friendships, love affairs, work or life
calculations, but rather the lessons that should be learned from these
experiences. If your entrepreneurial venture doesn't work, use it as a lesson
for future decisions. It's all just one step in the long journey ahead!
Usually, fear is known as a
very general concept. If we examine that fear, we may discover that there are
other fears hidden behind. These are exactly the ones you fear. For example, we
may fear failure, but failure is often associated with other concepts such as
self-esteem. Practice dialogue with yourself. Be rude or gentle, as long as you
feel most comfortable. The truth is that the more you talk to them (fears), the
more cliché they feel, and then there's no reason to be controlled.
Do not criticize yourself if
you are always in a state of fear because everyone has their own weaknesses,
and above all, fears arise for a reason. First of all, accepting their
existence as an inevitable part of life will help you regain the initiative.
Next, empathize and understand yourself better to find out where the fear comes
from. These two steps will help you find a way to deal with your problems more
thoroughly and effectively.
When the mind is dominated by
fear, we often turn to negative thoughts. You should put hypothetical
situations for yourself to better understand anxiety, such as what is the worst
that will happen? Or what if the situation is not as bad as I thought? What are
the resulting values and meanings? If the value in return for yourself is
great enough, why not rush forward to try, etc.? In that way, you will not get
caught up in negative thoughts.
When you exaggerate, you fall
into the trap of assuming the worst will happen. From there, you allow fear to
lead thoughts out of control and turn them into more negative thoughts. The
advice is to close your eyes, take a deep breath, and stay calm. Now, when you
look back, you'll see well it wasn't as serious as I thought and there was a
solution, right?
When you can't control your
fear, it will make you always in a state of stress. This is a normal
psychological problem, but if it lasts, it will turn into a disease. In
addition, being under too much pressure can lead to depression or increase your
risk of Alzheimer's disease. To overcome, you should work hard to exercise
because movement not only helps the brain a lot, but also makes the mind busy
but more comfortable. Besides, you will also find the energy to balance your
life.
Mark Twain said, “Courage is
resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.” Fear can hold us
back from our dreams and ambitions. Therefore, letting yourself accept as many
challenges and overcome as many fears is a way to build this habit. Courage
comes with fear; otherwise, it wouldn't be called brave. After all, if we don't
fuel fear, it won't exist.
Of course, I don't mean that
you won't feel disappointed when things don't go your way. What I want to say
is that you should not be tormented by the thought that you have failed. Think
about it. Are you kind and generous to that person? Do you make decisions on
the basis of trust at work? Then why blame yourself? Why should I assume I am
at fault? If you can gradually remove such blame, the fear will also subside.
"Learn to get up when you
fall"
~ Himalayan proverb
Have you ever been afraid that
if you succeed, you will have more responsibility, and that burden will be
heavier if you ultimately fail. I think this is one of the many types of
expectations that are pervasive in modern society. There are people who are
always seen as failures, and this is negative. Others are so pressured to
succeed at all costs that they want to give up and run away. Children must surpass
their parents, friends must surpass each other, and neighbors must compete for
wealth. Many great talents have not been able to develop more, simply because
they know that success always comes with such pressures. They are afraid that
the higher they go, the more painful they will fall.
That is why we often talk about
the Middle Way
in Buddhist philosophy. When you keep your balance on your journey, don't
deviate from the outside while keeping your chosen lane. You won't be hindered
or slow down out of fear and will be able to really go far. You are not in a
hurry to seek success or be afraid of it, but just accept things slowly, and
gently make decisions with a clear, pure mind. You are no longer afraid of
failure because this will become a valuable lesson, a memorable moment in the
ups and downs of life.
Let's move forward together in
life with a relaxed, alert, open mind, without a forced cliché. In that way, we
will get rid of the meaningless things and directly feel the value of life. Try
following this guide naturally. I am sure good changes will come to you and
your loved ones.
The most effective way to
understand and face our fears is to return to love and compassion. As our
compassion is cultivated, the ego itself shrinks and the fear dissipates. To do
this, we need a lot of time because the ego is strong and resilient. First, you
must learn to accept yourself, then you will learn to accept others. Let love
spread, first to your family members and gradually to everyone without
distinction. There is nothing stronger than love! It is the greatest source of
power in this world, and it will bring you fearlessness and freedom.
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