Don't let happiness be forgotten

Our journey to happiness can be likened to a trip on a horizontal axis with countless destinations. Starting at point A and heading towards point B, where we may wish to obtain a Master's degree. However, when we reach B, we feel it does not bring true happiness, so we continue to seek C, thinking that marrying the person we love is true happiness. But soon, we realize that there are still a few more conditions missing to feel complete joy, and having a beautiful child is truly a happy family, so we hope for D.

We continue to be insecure, setting new conditions, such as owning a big house, a new car, a bank account with a huge balance, or a position of power respected by friends... to ensure long-term happiness. And so, we keep rushing, from point E to F, then G..., but at each destination, the feeling of happiness only comes briefly. A few weeks, a few months later, we crave new conditions of happiness. Sometimes, we even wonder if true happiness lies at the end of this horizontal axis.

The end of the horizontal axis is the end of life. Who dares to say that only at the end of life can we touch true happiness? But if that is true, then isn't our whole life wasted when we constantly strive and sacrifice to enjoy happiness for only a short moment?

In fact, happiness is present at every point A, B, C, D to X, Y, Z. The value of happiness everywhere, at every time is essentially the same, meaning A=B=C…=Z. But how do we know this when we are always driven by the motive of "giving up the form to catch the shadow" - an inherent habit of humans?

Because we are stuck in unfulfilled dreams, we cannot enjoy the great happiness right in front of us. Are we sure that when we achieve those dreams, we will be completely happy? We are just guessing, because a year or two ago, we also had dreams, and most of those dreams have come true, but why are we still not happy? Yet we continue to dream, continue to hope as if we have never known anything about happiness.

 

If we do not know what makes us happy now, how can we know what will make us happy in the future? So, do we need to dream more or should we go back to accepting what we have and being satisfied with it?  Only when we realize the value of happiness that we already have, will we know how to appreciate and preserve it. Only when we hold true happiness in our hands, can we make others happy in a sustainable way.

Try to write down the conditions of happiness that we possess, and you will see that a piece of paper is not enough, because the more we look back, the more we discover hundreds, thousands of precious things that we have long forgotten. Happiness that is present but not felt will become a neutral emotion, a state that normalizes emotional qualities when lacking deep awareness. We often call it "equanimity."

It is this saturated emotion that makes us quickly bored with what we have, lose faith in things that brought happiness in the past. We continue to trample on current happiness to find happiness in faraway places. Although forgotten, the ability to bring happiness is still there, we just need to return to contact and to nurture it, it will flare up again in our souls.

Thanks to mindfulness, we can recover forgotten feelings of happiness, and when we realize that the conditions for true happiness are numerous and close, we will understand that "Oh my God, I am the happiest person in the world!"

However, how many of us have uttered that sentence? Most people only realize they are happy after a dangerous situation, a near-death accident, or a separation that seems like they will never meet again.  If there were no such events, they would still tirelessly roam in search of happiness like a wild horse galloping towards the distant horizon.

When tired, the wild horse stopped on the green grass and beside the cool stream, suddenly feeling peaceful and warm. He suddenly realized that happiness is right here; why did he foolishly trample on it every day to search for it in a distant prospect?

But will the wild horse stop its journey to live deeply in the present, or will it continue to rush into the future to seek happiness after it has recovered? Being aware that happiness is only in the present moment and stopping chasing after illusions is an important step, but to maintain that awareness and not be drawn into the temptations ahead is not easy. There must be the ability and specific methods of nurturing, because willpower alone is not enough.

Not everyone has never known happiness until the end of their life. Maybe they have lived in happiness, but they cannot keep it for long. Because they are not capable of receiving happiness deeply, easily turning everything into a normal thing even if it is the greatest happiness. People often call it a joke of fate.

So don't let happiness be forgotten!

Dharma talk by monk Minh Niem